Wednesday, 31 May 2017

6 TIPS TO QUIT NEGATIVE THINKING


Put your hand up if you always automatically think the worst, set yourself up to fail in things new to you or even make up scenarios which 9 times out of 10 will never happen *raises hand*. Thinking negatively has grown accustomed to our perspective and way of life. Our natural, human instinct is to over-analyse, over-think and speculate each and every bad situation we're crossed with and really, it's quite a sad thing.

When we live in a world where it is seen the norm to moan, talk negatively every day and criticise and target others who we do not know - how is anyone supposed to be or feel genuinely happy? Sure, everyone has their bad days, but when you wake up in a good mood and are met with an individual clearly having a bad one, why does it instantly bring our mood down to their level?

It's something that really ought to change, and we wonder why so many young adults and teenagers struggle to cope with the thoughts that accumulate inside their heads due to all the negativity surrounding them. Yes, things happen in our lives that are often out of our control, and I'm aware everyone has their own story, but the only way we can get out of that mindset is to pick ourselves up and make our own view a more positive one. I know this is easier said than done, but the fact of the matter is, nobody actually talks about how negative our society really is.

I have always, always, always struggled with a negative mindset. To be honest, it's hard to go through life without one. When I hated the way I looked, I thought negatively from the moment I woke up to the moment my head hit the pillow. Going through difficult relationships or problems within friendships and family members allows you to over shadow the prospect for positivity in any future relations. We are literally thinking negatively before it has even happened?! Who has ever heard of the phrases... "I thought you were a bitch until I met you" or "They have a bad past I will get hurt", see - it's all negative. People say its natural to react in those ways, but when you sit back and think about it, it is such a damaging thing to be doing.

So, I've put together 6 tips to help quit your negative thoughts and feelings. Hopefully, you can relate to some as well as feel encouraged to beat the blues.

STOP BRINGING UP THE PAST
This is quite a controversial point, but an important one at that. I know many people will be guilty of it because it's a strategy used in the heat of the moment. I'm of course talking about bringing up those negative memories you'd much rather forget about, but your brain (and mouth) just won't seem to get over it. Why would you want to bring up so much baggage to use against someone when things get a little heated? Yes, I've been there, but has it helped - definitely not. If you're thinking negatively because of a certain grudge you can't let go, leave it in the past. Bringing up a certain mistake someone made will do nothing but damage your relationships, which you'll no doubt later regret. 

STOP HATING ON OTHERS' SUCCESSES
Maybe that person you saw having a bad day has some underlying issues that affect them daily - yet, you know nothing about them. A simple gesture could change a strangers’ entire day or week, and in turn, it will lift your spirits knowing you've helped someone in need. Always remember, it’s nice to be nice.

Is someone you know doing well? Congratulate them, be positive, let them know you're happy for them. I would rush to tell someone that they're killing it, but that's just me. Why are we so quick judge if someone is excelling and succeeding when we're not? The sad truth is is that this often happens when someone is outshining or doing 'better' than you. Jealousy is such a cruel thing. Go out and do you instead of focusing on somebody else's goals - it really shouldn't matter to you.

In light of recent events, I think it is of great importance to encourage and uplift others that work hard and stay motivated to work towards their goals every single day. The article regarding Sarah Ashcroft I felt did the complete opposite to bloggers who aspire to do well just like her. I have always liked her, I mean who doesn't? I know we are all entitled to our own opinion on it and I know many have voiced that, but in terms of first impressions on the interview - I think mine was mainly shock. It wasn't what I expected of her and I found it rather funny that it was so easily edited afterwards. But seriously, why did everyone feel the need to personally attack her on social media, it escalated rapidly and really got out of hand. She is a young girl just like us. I would hate to scroll through twitter and see so many of my 'followers' throw my name about and slate me so rationally. What she originally said did not come across well, but we all make mistakes and we're no better than her for bringing her down for it.

STOP WAITING AROUND & DO MORE OF WHAT YOU LOVE
Create your life. The first step to a positive mind-set is doing something positive that you yourself enjoys. If I'm ever down, I always look to blogging, travelling or cooking to get me far away from that mood as possible. Even something as simple as writing helps stimulate your mind helping you to forget what certain things are bothering you. Exercise, sleeping or even pampering yourself, are all tools used to help you forget about the often-unnecessary problems consuming your mind.

STOP LOOKING AT THINGS YOU KNOW WILL UPSET YOU
Like anything, holding onto something toxic and not letting go will only sustain that negative mindset on you for longer. Why would you want to engage in something that you know will upset you, cause you to think negatively and completely flip your mood into a bad one. Lurking on your ex, old friends, people you don't speak to any more or people you've never even met - it's like a silent way to bitch that no one will ever know about. Temptation is hard but it is unhealthy and damaging, but I completely see how Instagram has been labelled the most damaging platform for our mental health.

STOP COMPARING & CRITICIZING
A similar point to before, but something that's not easily avoided. Through the effects of social media and the endless number of obstacles tied in with that that I can't be arsed to write down, we are constantly comparing ourselves to things we are not. Being perfect is near far impossible, but learning to love your imperfections is the key to being a more positive and less insecure person. Self-love is what we should care about, not what assets she has and I don’t, not what talent he has that you can’t do. Why try to force yourself in being the second version of someone else? No individual will ever be the same, so what are you gaining from constantly criticizing you?

STOP SETTING YOURSELF UP TO FAIL
Too often we avoid the 'can-do' attitude, and I know I am guilty of it. The only thing that's stopping you from being ambitious, working towards your goals and dreams and fundamentally achieving them is you. It is so useful to find a support system or a motivational catalyst - if you can say that - which will aid in encouraging you to keep going. Something that works for me is personal recognition and support from others. There's nothing better than receiving messages from complete strangers who take the time to visit your blog, read some highly personal content and then message you such kind words about them. It is such a key motivator for me as I am not a big blogger, but I don't strive to blog for the money, I do it because I enjoy it so I don't see that as a 'failure'.

This goes for many other things, not just blogging. Losing weight, finishing university, doing things completely outside your comfort zone, facing your biggest fears - I could go on. Whatever things you accomplish that you originally set yourself up to fail in will only ever grow you as person.
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4 comments

  1. This post has come at a good time, so thankyou :) There's some great tips here, that I think we all definitely need to try! xox

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    1. aww I'm so glad, no need to thank me! :) xxx

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  2. Totally agree with this whole post! It's sometimes like I'm actively looking to be negative by going on Instagram and thinking everyone has it so much better. Definitely need a bit more self-confidence and to cut myself a bit of slack xx

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    1. Thank you so much doll! I am completely with you on that and I have always done the same! I think we both do 💗 Xxx

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